General Parenting Tips

Recognize that all behaviors meet needs.

• The needs are:
  • Attention
  • Escape or Avoid something they don?t like
  • To Get Something
  • Demonstrate Anger/Frustration
  • Power and Control
  • Develop Status/Acceptance
  • Sensory
• Understand that children's needs are legitimate and teach them an appropriate way to meet those needs.
• Develop a positive relationship with your children. Show them every day that you care about them
• Clarify rules and expectations
• "Model, Model, Model..." When your child is in conflict, arguing, yelling, out of control, etc, model the appropriate way to resolve the problem
• Always explain why
• Being willing to say you?re sorry
• Make the most of the time you are with your kids even if only for a short time
• Understand that they are kids and are still developing. School aged kids learn by asking questions, practicing, comparing, testing, disagreeing, by experience, and by modeling.
• Develop a positive toolbox
• The more tools parents have, the more effective they will be
• Many parents already use positive parenting tools, but may need to unlearn negative ones
• Positive parenting tools offer options for teaching and solving problems with our children
• No single tool works every time, with every child or in every situation
• The parenting tools used in the families in which we were raised influence our parenting style
• Every positive tool a parent uses is a deposit in the emotional bank account. A smile, a good word, a gentle hug add to the positive side of the ledger. Every negative thing parents do to confront, criticize, or punish are withdrawals from that account
• Demonstrate your values and use the tools to teach those values. Know what you believe in and what you hope to accomplish with your children and choose discipline techniques accordingly
• Determine rules and boundaries collaboratively